What I was doing while you were breeding: a memoir

Prologue : "I'll have the house special"

"Drugs make you a better person" : Paris and Amsterdam, 2000

"If I don't sleep with this Russian bartender, the terrorists win" : Russia, 2002

"Two Ferris Buellers don't make a right" : London and Paris, 2004-2005

"Love the Juan you're with" : Argentina, 2005

"You can't go en casa again" : Argentina, 2006

"Brazilians skip second and steal third" : Brazil, 2007

"Dominican surgeons are not half bad" : Dominican Republic, 2007-2008

"Frodo is the hottest guy in New Zealand" : New Zealand, 2008

"Thirty-five is too old to be sleeping in a bathroom" : Australia, 2009

"Even Bjork is having babies" : Iceland, 2009

"The land of milk and funny" : Israel and Jordan, 2010

"Juan more time, with feeling" : Argentina, 2011

"Love like you're about to get deported" : Los Angeles, 2011

Epilogue : "Awesome for awesome."